Motherhood Matters

Motherhood matters. The longer I live, the more I comprehend this truth: Motherhood Matters.

With all due respect, I'm convinced that raising children is the most significant, the most difficult, and the most fulfilling task in life. It is influence. It is power. It is life.

Motherhood matters in many ways, but one of the most poignant is the influence mothers have on the world. Forever and ever.

Take last week, for example. Day one, we sent our daughter off to college. After 18 years of living at home, she was ready to stretch her wings. We dropped her off at her dorm room—decorated pink and grey, her new backpack hanging from her closet hook, her new laundry detergent and books and school shoes ready for her new life. It was a tender and thrilling moment. I couldn’t help but recall the day I had arrived at the same university, excited and nervous, hugging my family goodbye, looking ahead to a grand adventure. It seemed like just yesterday.

My daughter’s anticipation was so thrilling that I almost wished it was me again, setting my sails for the new world. But then it became clear: I was living life through her. Her experiences would become my experiences. Her success was my success. Her happiness produced my joy. I could go to college again and again and again and have all of the excitement and fulfillment because of and through my children. Motherhood expanded me and who I was. It was an eye opening revelation.

Ten Parenting Principles That Have Shaped My Motherhood

I'll be the first to admit that motherhood is wonderful but challenging!!! So when people ask how I effectively raise ten children, I hesitate to offer any secrets to success. After all, each individual mother and family situation is unique. I firmly believe that we are all just doing our best in a soul-stretching profession.

However, there are certain universal principles that I do believe are key to rearing productive and happy children in today’s world. I gleaned these parenting tips from my own parents and good mothers and fathers I’ve observed. I share them here in the hope that others will adopt and adapt them and pass them on.

My motherhood philosophy changes yearly, weekly and daily as my parenting journey evolves and matures. In other words, I'm still developing my strategies just like everyone else! 

But today, as the mother of ten busy and good children, ages one through nineteen, I share the top ten parenting principles that have shaped my motherhood. I hope you find these helpful!

10. Routine Structure and schedules are the only answer to smoothly managing the lives of twelve people. When children know what time we are waking up, going to bed, leaving for school, what jobs they are expected to complete in the morning, where they sit at the dinner table, where their shoes belong and other routines it adds ease to our crazy life. I believe that organization is good for children. It teaches them boundaries and respect for regulation. And, it makes my life simpler. Knowing that we are doing laundry on Monday, cleaning bedrooms on Saturday, practicing the piano in the morning, and who washes the dinner dishes each evening means I don’t have to reinvent the wheel every day. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Thinking ahead, having a plan, and then sticking to it is the only way I stay sane!

9. Family Mealtimes The family that eats together stays together—I firmly believe that adage! Last week a visitor at our door was surprised to see 11 of us sitting down to dinner in our dining room. “Do you eat together every night?” she asked, amazed. Yes, we do. Granted, some evenings my husband is gone for a meeting, or my high school son has a track meet, or my daughter is working at her job, but the rest of us still sit and eat—together. I love those times! Not only is family mealtime helpful for creating healthful habits and manners in children, but in addition we all share and talk about our day and the world waits while we recharge together. It’s a great time for our teens, tweens and toddlers to connect despite their different stages of life. In fact, to me, mealtime is the best of times—a golden moment when I feel a small surge of success.

Autumn Time

No! SUMMER CANNOT BE OVER YET! It absolutely may not end!!! I know I write this exact same column every single year, yet I have these exact same emotions every single year.  August turns into September and then into October long before I am ready to give up July.

“Wait!” I want to shout.  “This mom is just getting into the swing of things. I am finally accustomed to swimming and vacationing and reading without any schedule. I am finally adjusting to meals on the fly and sudden trips to the library. I am acclimated to long, hot, lovely days when flip-flops and shorts will suffice.” And then, suddenly, those days are over, there is a cool nip in the air, and school has started. It just isn’t fair.

Welcome, Autumn

*Note: I wrote this article in October 2011, shortly after our sweet Autumn Joy was born. Even though that memorable day was five years ago, I still reflect on the power and principles of the glorious Autumn harvest.

Last month we celebrated Autumn with a joyful harvest.  Among other things we harvested our garden…a bit unexpectedly.  The overnight frost forced us to gather tomatoes, peppers, squash, melons, potatoes, and onions into our dining room.  Our kitchen table suddenly became a cornucopia, spilling over onto the floor.  Although we were sorry for the end of the season, we were filled with joy at seeing what our labors had produced.  The spring and summer months of planting, weeding and watering were suddenly worth it.

A Purposeful Pilgrimage

I’ve heard of pilgrimages before: travel to an historic place to pay homage to one’s beginnings.  There are pilgrimages to the Holy Land, pilgrimages to Mecca, pilgrimages to a cemetery to see the gravesite of a loved one. Anyone who believes deeply in something has an innate desire to visit his foundations—the place where his beliefs and character and very purpose for being were established.

This summer our family took a patriotic pioneer pilgrimage. And our travels convinced me that pilgrimages are a vital and heart-changing piece of life.

Our first stop was near Kansas City, Missouri. We toured the Liberty Jail where Joseph Smith was held captive during the long, cold winter of 1839. The jail is small and crude, but the crowd that came to view the underground cell was large—a kaleidoscope of families from around the country. We sat together in silence while the narration told of damp, cold, moldy food and God-fearing saints. The experience made us better.

Abundance and Apathy

My mind has been in turmoil lately. I've been considering the dual effects of abundance and apathy in our society. I'm no philosopher, but I'm convinced that one stems from the other.

Consider this: we have more stuff, more time, more tools, more information, more food, more toys, more space, more stores, more...you get the picture. Our lives are abundant! Even those in our society who claim welfare or are "underprivileged" have much more than people who lived just a few decades ago.