In the past 24 hours four different moms have told me they
are exhausted, discouraged and tired of being a mother. And I’m one of those four. BEING A MOM IS
JUST SO HARD SOMETIMES! It’s hard because of the emotional and physical strain
of caring for and raising other humans. It’s hard because we survive on little
sleep ourselves. It’s hard because we
are the sounding board for every thing and everyone. And, it’s hard because in
the midst of this marathon we are MANAGING THE WORLD! The laundry, the
groceries, the PTA, the housework, the meals, the garden, the Scout den, the
Church youth group, the budget, and the HOMEWORK! Oh, the everlasting homework.
As I’ve pondered and persevered on this uphill battle, I’ve formulated
strategies to pull myself through the tough times; the difficult moments when I
want to crawl into bed with the covers over my head, but instead I have to
drive 3 kids to soccer practice, solve a 7th grade math problem, and
make dinner for 12 people. You know, those days when the ENTIRE universe is
depending on you!
So, in an effort to help myself and the three moms
I’ve chatted with today (and the other million that may feel similarly), here
are Ten Everyday Tips for Surviving this Difficult, Glorious, Ride we call Motherhood.
1.
Do it! – The first tip to surviving motherhood is just to do it! Become a mom. Take
the leap. Take the plunge. Take the risk.
Chances are that if you are reading this,
you already are a mother. You’re not
likely a professional tennis player looking for some light entertainment or a
politician with spare time on your hands. No, I’ll bet that 99.9% of you
readers are mothers. So, congratulations! You’ve mastered tip number one.
Simply becoming
a mother is hard—physically and emotionally. And it takes a tremendous
commitment from you, whether you’ve birthed or adopted your child. You have
literally agreed to sacrifice your life for another human being. Now, granted,
we generally take this step a bit naively, when all we can envision of
motherhood is the fun of playing house with our dollies. But, we’ve taken the
step just the same, and we deserve a party.
Now that you are on the path (and—surprise!
There’s no turning back!), chances are good that you will survive this journey.
And, I’m willing to bet, you will not only survive, but thrive!
2.
Just Keep
Swimming – The very moment we become mothers we face a whole experience
without a handbook. We hold that newborn in our arms and suddenly we are
solely responsible for their well-being. Changing diapers, feeding, sleeping.
It’s overwhelming and wonderful. And, as little people grow, their challenges
do, too. Soon diapers are the least of our worries. Now we are helping them
ride a bike, stay out of the road, and finish their carrots at dinner. Time
passes and now we are concerned about who their teacher is, if their homework
is finished, and if they practiced the piano before going to bed. And soon our
challenges have grown to driving, dating, jobs, and graduating from high
school. In other words, motherhood is challenging every day!
So here’s another tip: Just Keep Swimming. Just keep going with the flow and surviving.
That’s the long and the short of it. Get up the next day. Drive to the next
soccer game. Fix the next meal. Change the next diaper. Endurance is 90% of
success. And finishing what we’ve started is the bulk of thriving.
On the days when I feel I can’t possibly keep
going, I remind myself to just keep
swimming. And then, I fold the next batch of laundry, deal with the next
teenage crisis, sign the next page of Algebra homework, and get through the
next day. And, somehow, when I wake up the next morning, my energy is renewed,
and I can keep on mothering.
3.
Make a Backwards
List – I’m the queen of list-making. I make to-do lists for myself, lists
for my husband, and lists for my kids. But sometimes I get to the end of a day
and find out that I didn’t accomplish anything on my list! How discouraging! In
those times, it’s helpful to make a Backwards
List. Take a moment before bed and write down what you did do during the day. Think of each batch of laundry, each trip to
the school, each meal cooked and cleaned up, each child you helped, each phone
call you made. Think about the time you went out to play ball for a minute, or
helped your husband with a project, or cleaned up the living room. Write down
every single thing you did that wasn’t on a list, and your spirits will likely lift. It helps to have a list of what was accomplished during the day, even if
the list was made backwards.
