A Few Good Men - My Musings on Manhood

A few good men. This common phrase is a paradox. A farce. A falsehood. A misleading term.

This world has more than a few good men. There are many good men! In fact, I know many, many good men. And I am thankful for them. Yes, the men.

In my experience, it is men who have stepped up to the plate when things are rough, men who are willing to take the lead in difficult situations, and men who willingly sacrifice their own well-being for others. Thank you, gentlemen.

I’m confused and concerned about a common rhetoric in our society that men are all bad. Or fathers are all absent. Or husbands are all unfaithful. Or bosses are all abusive. Whether I am behind or ahead of the times, let me repeat, I applaud men.

One example of a good man is my great dad. He worked hard, made little money, and provided all that he could for our family. Despite the fact that I had ten siblings, he spent time one on one with us, discussing our dreams, providing fatherly advice, and giving ample encouragement and comfort when needed. He still does all of those things for me now, even though I’m a grown-up. My Dad is a good man.

Another great example is my husband. He is a better parent than me. He is the one who keeps his cool when everything is falling apart, who willingly cleans the skinned knees and applies the band-aids, who mows the last patch of lawn when everyone else is grumpy, who picks up the final toys in the living room, and who always takes the garbage out. It’s even my husband who waits up until the last teenager has returned at the midnight hour. Thank goodness!

Motherhood Matters

Motherhood matters. The longer I live, the more I comprehend this truth: Motherhood Matters.

With all due respect, I'm convinced that raising children is the most significant, the most difficult, and the most fulfilling task in life. It is influence. It is power. It is life.

Motherhood matters in many ways, but one of the most poignant is the influence mothers have on the world. Forever and ever.

Take last week, for example. Day one, we sent our daughter off to college. After 18 years of living at home, she was ready to stretch her wings. We dropped her off at her dorm room—decorated pink and grey, her new backpack hanging from her closet hook, her new laundry detergent and books and school shoes ready for her new life. It was a tender and thrilling moment. I couldn’t help but recall the day I had arrived at the same university, excited and nervous, hugging my family goodbye, looking ahead to a grand adventure. It seemed like just yesterday.

My daughter’s anticipation was so thrilling that I almost wished it was me again, setting my sails for the new world. But then it became clear: I was living life through her. Her experiences would become my experiences. Her success was my success. Her happiness produced my joy. I could go to college again and again and again and have all of the excitement and fulfillment because of and through my children. Motherhood expanded me and who I was. It was an eye opening revelation.

The Merry Month of MAYhem

Every mother knows that the month of May is CRAZY! As the school year comes to an end we are flooded with final soccer games, final dance recitals, final tumbling rehearsals, final band concerts, final choral exhibits, final art displays, end of year parties, final exams, final Prom, cheerleading tryouts and… the list goes on. May is busy if you have ONE child, but multiply that by TWO, or THREE, or TEN and every day becomes absolutely insane! The dictionary definition of "mayhem" is CHAOS!

I know May is a wild trip for every family—and it’s certainly not a contest to prove that we’re busier than our next door neighbor—but nevertheless, I’m still recording the events of this month for my posterity’s sake...or they surely wouldn’t believe it!

Let’s begin with the simple math facts: We have 9 children at home right now. Each child is involved in at least ONE extra-curricular activity. (But let’s face it, that usually balloons to two or three or more, right?) PLUS add on school activities, tests, and parties. Those don’t usually count in the daily schedule. But when they involve a parent going in to observe or participating, then everyday school events start gumming up the calendar as well.

I Love Scouting - An Invitation to Respectfully Remember a Century of Honor

On May 8, 2018, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced the decision to discontinue LDS Scouting programs in 2020. Like every other Scouting news release during the past decade, this change was immediately met by both glee and sorrow. Naysayers jumped on the social media bandwagon—cheering that the BSA elephant is "finally off our backs," while those invested in Scouting shed tears at the end of an era—a life-changing century for millions of youth and leaders.

My husband has served as the LDS-BSA Relationships Director for the past five years, and this change directly affects our family in both a professional and a personal way. We have been deeply touched by the many friends who immediately reached out to us, anticipating the emotional trauma we were experiencing at the announcement.

Ironically, I listened to a conference talk on "ministering" earlier in the day. The evening announcement provided a unique opportunity to experience and observe friends who took the time to show us love during a heart-breaking situation, as well as those who simply touted comments on social media, oblivious to the pain many of us were feeling. Ministering is an invitation to live a higher law, and this was a perfect opportunity to serve. A heartfelt "thank you" to those angels who came to our aid.

Of Polio, Pornography, and Peace

Last month I traveled to Cincinnati, Ohio to spend the weekend with my sisters. One of our excursions took us to the world-renown Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. My talented sister-in-law, Dr. Sanita Hunsaker, is a child psychologist there.

 I wouldn’t initially anticipate that a hospital was a sacred place, but our experience at Cincinnati Children's was absolutely holy. Entering the campus, we saw a beautiful old structure, dating back to 1931. It was in this original research building that Dr. Albert Sabin developed the oral polio vaccine. As the wife of a Rotarian, I understand the urgency and importance of eradicating polio from the world. 

On the steps of that antique edifice hundreds of mothers gathered on April 24, 1964—the first “Sabin Sunday”—to have their children vaccinated against polio. A statue in honor of Dr. Sabin stands in the courtyard today.

The Hiking Hint

     When I was fourteen years old, my family spent a week at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico. While my parents and siblings stayed in camp attending classes, doing crafts and other activities, my older sister and I opted to take a week-long backpacking trek through Philmont’s wilderness backcountry. 

It sounded like a fun adventure: hike a few miles every day, cook outdoor meals, watch campfire programs at night, and do some rock-climbing and rappelling—nothing we couldn’t handle.  In fact, we were exhilarated about a week in the mountains. 

We said a cheerful “goodbye” to the rest of our family and boarded the bus that would take us to our drop-off point.  My heart pounded with anticipation.  The bus rolled to a stop and we jumped out, grabbed our gear and looked up—at a huge hill.  The first mile of our trek seemed to stretch straight up from where we stood!  Biting our tongues, we set out. It was hard!  Our forty-pound packs weighed us down and the sun beat on our backs. When we reached the crest of the first hill, another one loomed before us. This was one, big mountain! After what seemed like ages, we begged our ranger to let us take a break. 

“No,” she said, “We’re just getting started.” 

Confessions of a CEO

I am a CEO.  I manage the personal schedules, finances, needs and lives of twelve people.  (Well, almost twelve.  My husband manages his own--most of the time.)

For me, like any other CEO, it’s all about the numbers.

Yesterday I did 20 minutes of aerobic exercise, read 26 verses of scripture, made breakfast for ten people, packed six lunches, sent eight people out the door, washed one batch of dishes, did three loads of laundry, read a story to two preschoolers, and freshened up five bathrooms--all before 10am! Those sound like pretty good stats to me.

I then drove to the store and spent exactly 50% of my monthly grocery budget on 45 meals. I saved $12 buying non-brand products, and $10 of next month’s grocery money buying butter on sale. (Did I mark that in the notebook?)  I also set aside cash for two weeks of piano lessons and tumbling fees (due tomorrow).